It's been a while

Dear Daddy,

I know, it's been a while. A lot has happened since I last wrote. I got the job on 10A at Baptist. I've been there for 8weeks now. I love it! I wasn't sure how I would handle working on the Cancer floor, but after everything I went through with you it really isn't that bad. I have my moments of sadness, and my moments where I hurt terribly for these patients; but then that one time I bring a smile to a hurting patient's face because of some silly story about the boys or just joking around with them then I realize why I'm there. It truly is for selfish reasons - I feel needed. I am their escape from reality.

I lost my first patient last week. He was precious. I'm sure you have met him by now. He reminded me so much of Papaw. He and his family were so sweet. The week before he died I went to visit him on my day off. He was looking so weak and he told me he was getting so tired. It's hard not to break down right there in front of them when you see how hard they fight and just get so tired of fighting. He and his wife had been married for 57 years, he was fighting just for her. He would continue on if that was what she wanted. How incredible that is. To love someone soooo much that you would go through hell on earth for them. I know that you and mom had that. I can only hope that mine and Jamie's relationship is like that. I know that I would do anything for him. I just think we get so caught up in the day to day living that we forget we have to work on us. Anyway, I got sidetracked. I did go to his funeral. Just felt like I should.

Each day is so different on that floor. Some days are just hard and some days I leave there feeling like I did something that made a difference in their life. Man do I miss you. I have been dreaming about you a lot lately. They aren't bad dreams, most of them I don't remember except that you were in them. Guess I just am thinking a lot about you.

Okay, funny stories:

James -
His latest saying is when you are doing something that is making him laugh, he says "stop doing that, you're cracking me out!"
Jamie was saying our nightly prayers and when he said amen, James said "daddy are you finished?" Jamie - "yes" James - "good, can we go to sleep now." (a lot like his mommy huh?)
Oh, James made student of the week. He got to bring Monkey George home for the weekend and we took all kinds of pics. Had to make scrapbook pages of their weekend and a poster board all about James. So, he gets to sleep on the loft in his classroom all week at naptime. I will get pics and post them.

Thomas -
Well, we went to Kroger the other day and I had a buggy full of groceries. The boys had been wanting candy, of course they want everything they see. Anyway, we got out to the car and Thomas said "mommy, I have gum under my leg" Well of course I thought he sat in gum. Then he whips out a package of gum that he was hiding. I marched him back into the store and made him tell the policeman what he had done. The policeman was no help, he laughed and said why thank you little man. Thanks a lot!!!


I know there are more stories, but I am so sleepy right now that I can't think of them. I have to get up early for work tomorrow. I love you daddy. Thank you for all you and mom did to raise me the way that I am .

Love,
Jan Your Baby girl forever!