Monday, May 5, 2008

The Party


Dear Daddy,

Well, this weekend we had James’ 4th birthday party. It was a gorgeous day! We had everyone over to the house and the jumpers out. He had a Star Wars party. You would have loved it. He got lots of light sabers (or as he calls it “life savers”). I just can’t believe he is already turning 4. Life goes by so quick, just seems like yesterday he was a tiny infant.

Dana and the girls were there with Storm. You would love him. He is so good to the girls and to Dana. He just adores them. I’m pretty sure they will marry. Dana seems really happy. Whitney is giving her fits, but she hasn’t been the same since the divorce and your passing. The girls haven’t seen their father in almost 2 years now. I tend to think that is a good thing. But, the effects of not having a strong father figure in their life is starting to show. I worry about them. You know I would do anything for them. So if you could, please watch over them when we can’t. Be that little voice in Whitney’s ear to keep her from doing wrong. Dana is struggling a little with her relationship with Storm. She needs you to tell her to let go and love again. She is so scared of being hurt, that it has become easy for her to make excuses and be alone. I want to see all of them happy again. The girls need a father so badly; they need that affirmation and love. I was so lucky to have you as a Daddy! Please, let Storm be that person for them.

I had a sleepover with some girls from the school Saturday night. It was so much fun feeling like a kid again. Sunday we got up and three of them went to church with me. The sermon was amazing! Pastor Rod was talking to us about Watching out for our children. It was more about the responsibilities we have to each generation. I was sitting in that service and thinking about whether or not I am a good leader. I hope that I can be half the leader you were. He was talking about how when we are older it isn’t about accomplishments anymore, but more about the legacy we will leave behind. You left a wonderful legacy of Faith and commitment. I admire all that you accomplished in your life, but more than that I admire your commitment to God and your Family. You never once let me down. Not sure how many kids can say that about their parents. I knew I could always count on you for anything. You supported me, you encouraged me, but most of all you loved me. I still remember you waking us up in the early mornings and us having prayer together as a family. Dana and I mostly slept, but I could still here you praying for us. Asking God to watch over us and guide our lives. Thank you for that legacy. I hope that I can be as good a role model not only to those girls, but also to my kids.

Well, in the next couple of weeks I will be looking for a job at the hospital. I miss working in the hospital. It was so rewarding. Getting to know the patients and their families. I just love it. I am going to work part-time so that I can get insurance and then still work at the school one day a week. Then one day I will be with the babies and one day will be for scrap booking with mom.

Hopefully, we will be able to get a new car after I start working there. Jamie’s Infinity finally died and the Mountaineer is on its last leg. Gas prices are outrageous, and I wish we could get something smaller but if we ever decide to have another baby we would need a bigger car. So, guess I’m just going to have to endure the gas prices. Sure wish I could get your advice on what to get. You were always good at that kind of stuff.

Well, I guess I should sign off now. I love you Daddy and miss you terribly!

Love,
Jan – Your baby girl forever

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